Being Present with Kids, and Does Time Go Fast?
Blueberry Picking 16 mos.
This picture came up on Facebook, and it made wistful!
Normally don’t feel that way. I actively work to live in the moment with my kids. I’ve made a conscious choice to be present with them and enjoy each phase of life. Now, let’s be honest—who can be entirely present with kids every minute of every day? Not me. But at pickup after they finish preschool, I try to prioritize connection with them before taking to other moms.
When I’m with my kids, I’m not on my phone or my computer. At times we naturally must make calls around our kids, prioritize our wellbeing by talking to a friend. Sometimes my work IS on my computer, and I try to set clear boundaries about that. They don’t like it, but I think it’s important to learn boundaries, and half-attention is unsatisfying for everyone.
Coming from a Waldorf background, I involve them in the work of the home, folding laundry, prepping food, and doing small tasks. This guidance takes time, but it also builds connection, and I think it will pay off in the long run with a natural sense of participating in the household.
Each age has really cool things attached to them. If we are conscious about it, time does not go by fast. If we are mindful, we capture many moments, though moments are not for capture. We can’t hold onto our kids and the moments any more than we can hold onto a breath that we just exhaled. But we can soak in some moments and be present for the next ones.
Nostalgia can distort the reality of memories. This picture shows a lovely morning blueberry picking. Our nanny was with me, so we had single man coverage. On this day I had reason to have peace on my face. Whenever I needed help, it was there. I had the privilege of help, of getting to spend quality one-on-one time with each child because the other was getting quality time with someone else they loved and who loved them. Help enabled me to parent with more patience and tolerance than I might have had without it. When I’m on my own, I’m more worn down.
For all the hard work, I wouldn’t change a minute because I appreciate the two humans we are raising. Maybe when they start high school or college I’ll express, “It went so fast!” I do know moments are here and then they are gone, and then we are in new moments. Thus, it is worth making choices to be actively present for moments throughout the day—with your kids and with yourself, too.
